Channeling Frida

I love Frida Kahlo. I love Frida Kahlo. I love Frida Kahlo. I don’t really care if thats a cliche or unoriginal. I need her. I need proof that someone can live so vivaciously and passionately while facing down death on a daily basis. I’m tired of stories of people with illnesses suffering like heroic angels, never asking for anything or showing any emotion but peace.

I love Frida. I love that she got angry and broke things and locked Diego Rivera (her husband) out of the house. I love that she painted things no one wanted to see. I love that she tried to make sure everyone fell in love with her, because you know what thought plagues me all the time- “Do I let someone love me or not, because I’m sick?” I know it sounds like there’s an obvious answer, but not so much. Because loving someone who is fighting to get their life back is exhausting. Loving someone with so many needs is draining. I hate asking one person for so much. And sick people need so much. Guys I need so much love it’s exhausting.

I’m tired of asking my parents for money. I’m tired of falling in love with work and not being able to go because I’m too sick. I’m tired of dating someone and having to drag my illness along like this skeleton I can’t keep in the closet. I’m tired and angry and sad and want to just be depressed, but also know that physically I demand so much support I can’t imagine asking someone to support me emotionally as well. Thats why I love Frida. She unapologetically asked for everything, experienced sadness, and believed she deserved that.

I guess I’m writing this because I need support. Financially, I haven’t been able to work for a month. I thought maybe it could be fun to have a place where you could donate to my art (like a patron) and if the donation was above $25 I could mail you a collection of prints and sketches from each month, as a sort of thank you.

If you can’t support me financially that’s totally fine. I would just love to hear from you. Any book, music, movie, or podcast suggestion is always appreciated. I love you all so much!